When we are younger, spending can feel relatively simple. Our money may go towards school meals, clothes, hobbies or the occasional treat.
Then university and working life introduce new expenses: more places to go, more people to meet and more things we are willing to pay for. At the same time, online shopping and digital payments have made spending easier than ever.
So, does adulting actually get more expensive? Or do we simply become better at finding reasons to spend?
In the second episode of DollarsAndSense’s Growing Up series, hosts Feng Yi and Duncan sat down with university student Jaime and Troy from OCBC to discuss how our spending habits change as we grow older.
Watch the full DollarsAndSense: Growing Up episode here:
A “Want” Can Start Feeling A Lot Like A Need
The episode begins with a simple exercise: categorising everyday items as needs or wants.
Contact lenses, Spotify Premium, an iPad, Netflix, air-conditioning and braces are thrown into the mix. Almost immediately, the hosts and guests disagree.
Troy said contact lenses could be a need for someone who plays sports regularly, while Feng Yi saw an iPad as useful because she reads newspapers digitally on it.
Netflix sparked another debate. Jaime felt there was a social element to having access to entertainment at home — if friends came over, being able to put on a movie could be part of the experience.
Feng Yi added that spending is not always only about physical necessities such as food and transport. Social needs, including friendship and belonging, can shape what people consider worth spending on too.
Jaime said this was particularly relevant in university, where constantly turning down outings to save money could leave someone feeling detached from student life.
“If you keep trying to budget and skimp out on outings, it feels very detached,” she said.
A meal with friends may technically be a “want”. But as our lives become more complex, the line between needs and wants can become harder to draw.
TikTok Shop Makes It Much Easier To Spend $2.99 At A Time
Jaime said she spends more in university than she did when she was younger — and not only because of transport and social activities.
The way she shops has changed too.
She recalled buying items on Carousell when she was younger, sometimes meeting sellers and paying in cash. Today, TikTok Shop can take someone from discovering an item to buying it within a few taps.
During the episode, Jaime admitted she had bought something from a livestream that very day.
“I just pressed and then it went through,” she said, describing online shopping today as “hyper-personalised”.
Troy added that livestream shopping can be particularly persuasive because viewers can interact with sellers and ask questions in real time, rather than simply watching a one-way advertisement.
Then there is the price.
A $0.99 or $2.99 purchase may barely register on its own. But Jaime noted that such purchases can quickly stack up, particularly when platforms are constantly showing shoppers inexpensive products they might never have intended to buy.
Feng Yi added that social media creates temptation beyond shopping too. Seeing friends visit a restaurant or recommend a place can be enough to make us want to try it ourselves.
The problem may not be that any one purchase is expensive. It is that there are now far more opportunities to spend throughout the day.
Working Life Gives Us New Reasons To Spend
The transition into working life brings another set of expenses.
Troy said he began spending more on socialising with colleagues after starting work, whether over dinner or drinks after office hours.
Feng Yi said she also finds herself spending more as she gets older — partly because life feels more stressful.
“I feel like I need to treat myself more, then I start spending more,” she said.
Jaime recognised the same tendency after starting her first corporate internship. She would sometimes think she deserved a snack or small reward after getting through the workday.
But earning her own money also changed how she thought about prices.
Instead of looking only at the dollar amount, Jaime began comparing purchases with how long she had worked to earn that money.
A brownie that costs less than an hour of work?
“That’s so worth it,” she said.
Troy pointed to another psychological shift that can come with a regular salary: knowing another paycheque is coming next month can make spending today easier to justify.
Earning more can therefore make us more conscious of what money is worth — while also giving us more reasons to spend it.
“Girl Math” And “Boy Math” Can Make Spending Feel Like Saving
The group also discussed the mental calculations people use to justify purchases — or what social media has dubbed “girl math” and “boy math”.
Duncan shared an example from buying a tailored suit in Bangkok. Compared with what a similar suit might cost in Singapore, the price seemed attractive, making an additional top-up easier to justify.
But, as the group pointed out, saving compared with another price is not the same as not spending.
Jaime’s version of girl math works differently.
If she wants a $20 dress but decides not to buy it, she does not mentally treat that as $20 saved.
Instead, it becomes $20 she can spend somewhere else.
“It’s always spending in my mind. It’s never saving,” she said.
Once she has decided she wants something, Jaime added, “that money is already out of my bank”.
For Troy, “boy math” can mean putting a price on time.
If travelling somewhere takes close to two hours by public transport but much less by Grab, he may justify paying more for the time saved.
He applies similar logic to buying snacks in bulk. If a protein bar costs $6 individually but $2.50 in a larger pack, it feels like a saving even though he is still spending $2.50.
The same thinking can apply to second-item discounts, bundle deals or adding more to an online cart to qualify for free shipping.
We focus on how much we are “saving”, when the more useful question may be: Would we have bought it without the deal?
Tracking Spending Can Make Small Purchases Harder To Ignore
With spending spread across meals, transport, online shopping and socialising, Troy said he prefers using cards because his transactions are automatically recorded.
If he paid mainly in cash, he would have to manually track each purchase himself.
Banking apps can instead categorise transactions such as food and transport, making it easier to see where money is going. Troy highlighted similar tracking and goal-setting features within the OCBC app.
Jaime said this appealed to her because she had recently tried tracking her spending manually, but often procrastinated. By the time she returned to it a week later, she sometimes could not remember whether a purchase was food, shopping or a treat.
The group also discussed cashback and dining promotions available through the FRANK Debit Card.
But a discount does not automatically make a purchase worthwhile.
Perhaps the bigger benefit of tracking is simply seeing all your spending in one place.
A $2.99 purchase may seem insignificant on its own. Ten of them can tell a different story.
Growing Up Means Having More Choices For Our Money
Adulting can feel more expensive because our lives become more complicated.
University introduces new social experiences. Working life brings new routines, stress and convenience spending. Digital platforms make it easier to buy something almost as soon as we want it.
At the same time, earning our own money gives us more freedom to decide what is worth paying for.
Jaime’s experience shows why cutting out every “want” may not be realistic. Socialising costs money, but constantly opting out comes with its own trade-offs.
Troy’s examples show that spending more is not always about buying more things either. Sometimes, we are paying to save time.
So perhaps the better question is not simply: Is this a need or a want?
It is: Why am I spending on it?
Is it buying us time, maintaining a friendship or giving us an experience we genuinely value?
Or did a livestream, promotion or $2.99 price tag simply make it too easy to say yes?
Growing up gives us more money choices. Part of adulting is learning which ones are actually worth making.
Watch the full episode of DollarsAndSense’s Growing Up for the complete conversation with Feng Yi, Duncan, Jaime and Troy.
